A Low Grade Depression

I am definitely fighting of the case of the blues. It's not so overwhelming that I can't function. But it is difficult to function effectively. Everything takes so much effort; getting dressed, eating, walking, bathing. I have to expend so much mental energy. I have fleeting thoughts about how nice it would be to sleep forever and never wake up. Not really suicidal thoughts where I want to take action. These thoughts are more about finding some sort of relief.

I feel tired all the time, but going to sleep is difficult. I feel afraid to sleep. I want to sleep the day away and I have to fight that feeling. I physically move slower. I process people's words slower. I am just slower overall. Nothing would "cure" this except some meds.

That reminds me a long time ago I was prescribed Adderall I didn't understand that it was a stimulant. I got a lot of things done, but I kept needing it to function. Even if I skipped a day; I would be so exhausted that I had to take a pill to function "normally".

I took Adderall for 6 months, I don't think I would ever take that medication again. My doctor really used me as a guinea pig.