Recover Self-Esteem

Since I turned fucking 30. EEEwww I still can't believe I'm that OLD! I reflected on my life and I haven't accomplished anything significant. I am making a concerted effort to meeting my goals. I hate feeling like a loser.

I looked back on the various journals and blogs I had and it's just a repeating pattern of self-loathing, self-pity, self-hatred. I'm sick of being like that. I know I have bipolar disorder. With that comes limitations, but it doesn't mean I can do anything. Perhaps I can't do it as quickly as my peers.

Yes that something I need to do. Stop comparing myself to others. Everyone has their own life and they will do with it what they will in their own time. It only makes me feel sadder if I constantly compare myself to others. A little comparison is OK. To check to see if I am developing emotionally, mentally, developmentally as others; basically maturing. But it's not OK to feel worthless, to make a value judgement, to feel insignificant.

No more hurting myself. I'll be better to myself now.