Since the middle of February I have been in seclusion. I realized today that I have been suffereing from severe depression since last July and I am currently coming out of it. I'm going from severe to manageable. Manageable means I will be able to look for and get a job and begin to get my finances over. Manageable means that I have a major shift in perspective. I know it was only a few short days ago that I a suicide action plan, but now my perspective has done a not quite 180 but more of a 90.
I no longer have a strong desire to end my life, but I am still unhappy with my life. I am able to see solutions to my problems and I am no longer distressed about how long it would take me to make real change.
I have been in this state of pain before and it will take me more time to get out of it. There is no way around it.
The way I am feeling now... I wonder if I am heading towards mania? I haven't had a manic episode in awhile that I can determine...God I hope not...
No comments:
Post a Comment